First Comes Love

IN THE BEGINNING

I knew that Genifer was "the one" early on in our relationship. However, nearing our 3 year anniversary and the beginning of 2014, I made a decision to accept full-time pastoral work with Couples for Christ in Alberta. This implied an indefinite return date to Vancouver. To some, this new path seemed to lead me away from my future, but I knew that God was asking me to pursue both my Vocation and His call to be a missionary. In my time away from home I realized that pursuing the deepest desires in my heart would lead me to love, honour, and serve God and my future family. This is when I made the decision to propose to Genifer in the second half of 2015.

After an initial conversation with a close family friend, he suggested a proposal date that could also be a potential wedding date. I looked at feast days of popular saints and found that the Feast Day of St. Thérèse of Lisieux would be a Saturday in 2016. Right there and then, I made a decision that I would propose on October 1, 2015 in an adoration chapel in Vancouver.

I invited Genifer's dad for coffee in mid-February during one of my visits to Vancouver. It was important for me to obtain his blessing to marry his daughter before moving forward. I can't remember the last time I felt so nervous going to a Starbucks. Thankfully, the anxiety was replaced with peace and excitement as I left our heartfelt conversation with his blessing. 

I began ring shopping with the help of my best man. This might sound a bit odd, but I appreciated the fact that Genifer never mentioned to me a particular type of ring she wanted. Although this would have made things easier, it allowed me to propose to her in every sense of the word. I already knew what type of ring I was going to buy but I was missing one crucial piece of information – her ring size. Since I was still living in Calgary and didn't want to blatantly ask her for her size, I asked for help from of one of our mutual friends, now bridesmaid. However, what this friend never told me was that the ring size she got was from a ring worn on Genifer's opposite hand and finger... (thanks, friend LOL). With everything set, I bought the ring in June, confidently awaiting October 1.

DIVINE INTERVENTION

My confidence wavered when I was reminded that my move date back to Vancouver was still not finalized. My placement as a missionary was discerned for by Couples for Christ and highly depended on where they believed I was most needed. Genifer and I would discuss when we would see ourselves getting married but spent a majority of the time expressing to each other the priority of living in the same city first. A long distance engagement was not something we felt comfortable with. I shared this with Couples for Christ but there was not any confirmation of this request being taken into consideration. 

At this point, I began considering a different proposal date in the event that we weren't living in the same city before the proposal. However, in early August while in California, I met a handful of inspiring husbands and fathers who experienced long distance engagements. Judging by the way they loved their wife and children and how they raised their family, I knew it wasn't the worst thing in the world to be in a long distance engagement. Confused and uncertain of what to do, I desperately asked God for a sign to propose on October 1 regardless of where we were living, or, to be living in the same city prior to deciding on a proposal date. He answered my prayer.

I was approaching the chapel at St. Michael's Abbey when I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Amidst several feet of bare branches and thorn bushes, was a single rose. It stood out to me in a way that I can't explain. Could this be an affirmation from St. Thérèse? My mind started moving a mile a minute but my heart experienced a deep and profound peace. I took a leap of faith and while offering up a prayer of thanksgiving to God, I made a promise that I would trust in His faithfulness in taking care of my relationship with Genifer. With the intercession of St. Thérèse, I was affirmed that I would propose on October 1. 

HELLO, GOODBYE

September rolled around and my move date was still up in the air. On September 25, I was invited to a meeting with Couples for Christ to discuss my future plans. After sharing with them my desire to be living in the same city as Genifer before proposing to her, I also shared that I was still open to staying in Calgary for as long as they felt it was necessary. Without any hesitation, they assigned me to Vancouver effective September 29. It was difficult to say goodbye to my new found friends and family in Alberta, let alone to express my gratitude for everything I experienced in over a year's time in the span of 4 days. However, this bitter moment found its sweetness because I would get to say hello to my family, friends and loved ones in Vancouver, and most especially Genifer. 

OCTOBER 1

The day finally came. My plan was to go to Mass, have dinner, and propose to Genifer in an adoration chapel. I wanted to look sharp so I made an appointment for a haircut prior to Mass. Upon arriving at the barbershop, I realized that I forgot my wallet (at least it wasn't the ring, right?) and had to think quick on my feet. Thankfully and providentially, I saw my best man leaving the same barbershop. He didn't hesitate to help me out and gave me some cash to cover the costs of my haircut and dinner. I knew that God was with me that day. 

Following mass and dinner, we arrived at the adoration chapel and I had the ring in my pocket. We were praying separately and I started feeling nervous and anxious. This was of course because it was only a matter of moments until our lives would change but also because there was an elderly man inside the chapel cramping my style. I prayed for courage, the right words, the perfect moment, and for the man to give us some privacy and leave. God heard my prayer but clearly had other plans as the man was still there.

I invited Genifer to pray with me where I thanked God for His faithfulness in our relationship. I then shared with her my entire journey being away from her in Alberta. <sidenote> I did not tell Genifer anything engagement-related, including the significance of my move date, until I proposed to her. Gotta keep things interesting ;) </end sidenote> I went down on one knee and told her that it was never a question of who but when. She said yes!

FIRST COMES LOVE, THEN COMES MARRIAGE

Her yes to marry me marked a significant milestone in my life and our relationship. I am grateful to God for the gift that she is and for the faithfulness He has given us. Our story has affirmed me that God loves us as individuals and wants us to share His love with each other, our future family, and the people that we will be blessed to journey with, 'til death do us part.